I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the “lolcatz” phenomenon. I’m assuming you are because you are on the Internet right now. If you are unaware you need to go check out icanhascheezburger.com. Seriously, it is one of my favorite sites. It’s a great way to kill some time. It features pictures of cats (or kittehs) with random misspelled captions, because we ALL know what horrible grammar cats have don’t we? Seriously, they have a terrible understanding of the English language… but I guess that’s what makes them so damn adorable.

Check this out though, in my daily search through news stories I found this, http://www.comcast.net/news/articles/technology/2008/04/23/Techbit.I.Can.Has.Cheezburger/. Yes, “lolcatz” is hiring!!!!!! I think I may have found my dream job. F#ck comedy, screw radio, to hell with writing and blogging I NEED to be a “lolcat” captionist. That is my true calling, I know it. I want to sit in front of the computer all day looking at pictures of cats and being a human English to Kitteh dictionary. How amazing would that be?

O BOI, DIS KITTEH WOOD B SOUPR KUNTENT! Since I’m probably not going to send my resume in, I’ll just post a few examples of the work I could do for them and you tell me what you think. PLZ KOMENT MEH K?

O KNOW DIS PUUL NO NEED 2 WET PUSSEHS!

GANGSTA KITTEH IZ UP IN UR HOOD, REPIN ‘DEM BLOODZ

HOLEE KOW, I KNOW LAFF DISS HARD EVA!

JON MARK CAR KITTEH, DUN SNUK IN DA KRIB AND IZ PRETENDEN 2 SLEAP.

STOK PORTFOLEEOH KITTEH SAIZ BUSH IZ ONE LYER… WEE IN RESESHUN!

HAY LUK, I TEECH 1 OALD DEWD NEW TRIKS!

MID LYF KRISIS KITTEH MAI B BALDING… BUT AT LEEST HE DRYV 1 SPORTZ KAR!

YASSER KITTEH IZ ON TV, LYIN ‘BOUT 1 TROOS

HAY LUK, UP DERE… IZ 1 BIRD… IZ 1 PLAIN!

KEENG TUT KITTEH HAZ BEEN REZCUED FRUM HIZ TOOM. SAWEEET!

KRAYZEE BONE KITTEH IZ BIZY KREEPIN ON ONE CUM UP!

TECK ZUPPPPPOOOOOOORRRRRTTTTTT!!!!!!!

ALKOHALLICK KITTEH HAZ TWO PROBLEMZ. WICH WON EYE SOLVEZ FURST?

Well, what do you think? Do I have what it takes to write kitteh kaptionz? As you can see I have a great grasp of the feline language.

That’s it for today. I’ll write more later.

I Love You!

Jubal

P.S. I got to demo the new Grand Theft Auto IV today and it was AWESOME. I also met British pop-star Duffy today and not only is she a good singer, but I would eat her poop. I think it’s the accent, but she was very hot. Ta ta for now!