It seems the past few heros of the day have been inanimate objects, so I’m going to follow that trend. Today marks the 19th cover of the “New York Post” that has featured Tiger Woods on the cover. Feel like venturing a guess as to what is tied with Tiger for the most?

Bill Clinton?

Barack Obama?

Britney Spears?

Nope, it was 9/11. So what’s more importand America, Tiger Woods fucking 14 different women besides his wife, or highjackers killing 3,000 people and destroying a national landmark? Well according to the “New York Post” they’re in a dead heat. Good thing Bush isn’t still in office, he might’ve used the Woods’ scandal as an excuse to invade Iran.

“We have significant evidence that Jamie Jungers was smuggling yellow cake for Ahmadinejad.”

So my hats off to you “New York Post,” you have truely shown how far we’ve come since those events on that warm September morn, and that is why you are the Hero of the Day for December 17th, 2009. Let this be a lesson to you Osama, if you really want to strike at the heart of America marry a white lady and cheat on her with a ton of trashy skanks. Preferably ones that are more than willing to sell their story to the media.