Today’s hero is a no-brainer. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again Steven Seagal is the baddest person to have ever walked the earth. For a while there were lists about all of the manly and powerful things that Chuck Norris could do. Well, I’m here to tell you that Chuck Norris continues to exist ONLY because Steven Seagal allows him to. Steven is the second greatest actor of all time, right behind Dabney Coleman.

I have followed Steven’s career since I was a kid. I thank God everyday that I was lucky enough to be born in a time that gets to experience the phases of this great man’s life. From the svelte ass kicker in Above the Law and Under Siege (and countless others) to the more cerebral hero in The Glimmer Man to The bloated black man we saw in movies like Urban Justice. Well, it seems as if the enigmatic demigod that is Steven Seagal has taken another incarnation: “Steven Seagal: Lawman“! The new show on A&E, which chronicles Mr. Seagal’s work with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office (Jefferson Parish, Louisiana).

Not only is the show amazing, but Steven has done it again! He has proved why he is the second most influential man of the last millennium (Dabney Colemnan still reigns supreme in that respect). The killing machine that is Steven Seagal was not only able to roundhouse kick the competition in their stupid faces, but he also overhand smashed ratings records for A&E!!

Steven Seagal Lawman premiered Wednesday with back-to-back episodes that averaged a record-breaking 3.5 million viewers (3.4 million at 10p, and 3.6 at 10:30p). It also averaged 2.0 million adults 18-49 viewers and was the most-watched original series launch in A&E’s history in all key demos.

So congratulations Steven Seagal, for continuing to be the universe’s second (remember, Dabney Coleman) most valuable treasure you are TEAMJUBAL.COM’s Hero of the Week.

P.S. I want to have your babies.