Perhaps the sexiest item sold on the Sky Mall has to be these little guys. I think that these should replace the lucite heels that are so popular with strippers and porno stars. Imagine how hot it would be to see a woman naked with just these socks on? ALMOST as hot as seeing a [...]

I don’t really want these frames, I just felt the need to show you how shitty this kid’s art is. The “I love you mom” painting? C’mon Corky, you can do better than that. If I were that little mongols mom I’d paint him one back that said “you’re an embarassment”. Ugh. //

I’m not 100% sure what this is, but from the looks of it, it helps seal off the sex slave that lives in your dungeon from the outside world. I’ve been needing this so bad. There isn’t much more awkward than having the woman you’ve held captive in your sex dungeon interupt a dinner party. [...]

This might be one of my favorite items. It is a hearing aid – LAME, shaped like a Blue Tooth – AWESOME! //

Yes! Look it the Sky (Mall)! It’s a Snuggie? It’s a Sloat? No! It’s a SLANKET! Just when you thought they couldn’t improve on the Snuggie they bring you the Slanket! Stylish, functional and most of all comfy. If the word “Slanket” is a hybrid of the words “snuggle” and “blanket” is it safe to [...]

Yeah, you’re not seeing things this is a Telekinetic Obstacle Course. Try to navigate a ball around the course with your brainwaves. If you buy this, chances are you live in your mother’s basement and have never navigated a woman’s vagina. //

I’m on my flight to Houston right now and, as most of us do, while waiting for the plane to take off I found myself thumbing through the Sky Mall. //